The Demise of the Wasp

Okay, the wasp is dead now. Finally.

After the urgings of several buddies (see previous post), I decided to kill the object of my distress with Febreeze.

Oh, boy. Just so you people know, Febreeze is a very inhumane way to kill wasps. It's worse than bug spray.

I lay in wait for the wasp to come out of its hiding place. It finally flew out and buzzed at the window, beating its wings against the glass. I felt kinda bad then. Obviously not bad enough. "You want your freedom, huh?" I said, brandishing my Febreeze bottle. "Oh, you're about to be free, all right..."

I snuck up to the window quietly. The wasp flew down to the windowsill and began to hover there mournfully. It didn't even notice the huge looming shadow that fell over it.

Dum dum dum...

I sprayed! The wasp recoiled and tried to get away. "Oh, GOD, it's coming right for me!!!" I screeched. I sprayed like a madwoman. The wasp tried to get off the windowsill, but it looked like it was caught in a strong wind. It started skittering around in circles. I am not making this up. But it would not die. In fact, it probably would've started flying if its wings weren't so wet.

I just watched it stumble around on the windowsill for a few minutes, looking very much like a drunk. Finally, I felt sorry for it and looked for a heavy object. However, I couldn't find anything I wanted to get bug guts on, so I used an empty styrofoam cup. It took at least 30 seconds of me smiting the wasp with this pitifully light object for it to finally turn over and die.

I looked at the corpse and the tragic way it had to die, and I had one thing to say.

"Ewwww...."