The Will to Live

I'm such a spaz. I woke up for the first time in almost two weeks feeling chipper. I thought I would never make it back to my old morning-person self again. I got up early, studied for my Economics test (wish me luck!) and ran out to the Russell House for a bagel. On the way back, I looked up and it was my favorite sky- a soft, deep blue with no clouds in sight. I went back to my dorm and looked out at the Horseshoe. It was so awesomely pretty, and I did a very silly thing.

I cried. I felt so blessed to be living in such beauty, and I got this overwhelming urge...to live. To be able to enjoy my life, the things around me, and the people I love freely. I felt my own inadequacy sorely, and I cried because I knew this life could be called nothing but a gift, because I sure wasn't doing anything to earn something so wonderful. I want so badly to make something great out of my life, by human standards, yes, but also by being able to open my heart to others and let God work through me. I may not be an overflowing vessel of wisdom, but I'm an expert listener, and I can smile and at least make people feel a little better and point them to the One who can fix things when I can't. I hope that I can do my little part and that I can make something beautiful to contribute to this beautiful world of mine.