"I was not attacked by the Ghetto Fairy. The Ghetto Fairy was making all my wishes come true."

Quote from myself explaining my dream to my mother in Wal-Mart. Also proved that I was a true Babysitters Club fan back in the day by reciting all the members and their unique characteristics...even though I haven't read a Babysitters Club book in years. I swear. My mother was disturbed...very disturbed.

Anyway, I had two very strange dreams last night and the night before. The night before last, I dreamed I was on the run from a Michael Jackson impersonator. Well, first he had on a Mickey Mouse costume, then he took off the head...anyway. I had to jump over a ditch, and I knew he was right behind me because right after I jumped over it I heard the thump of his feet landing on the ground behind me and then...

"Hee hee." (You know how Michael Jackson always makes that high hee hee sound in his songs? Yeah, that...)

Anyway, last night I dreamed I was going to my ten-year high school reunion. I was freaking out and distraught because I was all like, "I'm so out of touch with hip-hop culture! What am I gonna wear??" (I went to a predominately Black high school, for those who don't know...)

Then the Ghetto Fairy appeared (yes, that's what she was called in my dream) and poofed me some bangin' clothes so I could be the hottest chick at that thing. Ha ha ha...

Whatever I've brought into my diet...it needs to stop. Soon.