I must be nuts or something, but my 19th Valentine's Day on this Earth was awesome. Even though I'm unattached. Actually, I think that's the reason it was so awesome. Valentine's Day has always been a source of stress for me. Even in elementary school, when I was still giving out paper valentines. I don't know about you guys, but that was a well-thought-out process. You had to be careful to give out the ambiguous valentines to the boys, or they might get the wrong idea. Heck, giving a boy an Aladdin valentine that said "You send my heart soaring!" was like saying "Take me now!" Okay, maybe it was only that serious to me...I was a strange little girl, and I'm a strange young woman.
It was really hard in junior high and high school, seeing the other girls get these huge bouquets and giant stuffed animals. I really felt like crap. As time passed, I realized it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Half of the girls had to return presents because they didn't like the sender, or worse, they just kept them and said, "Better luck next time, cowboy." Then the were the girls who ran out and found a temporary guy or stayed with a guy they really didn't like just so they could get something on Valentine's Day. And more often than not, the couples who were so in love one year weren't even on speaking terms the next. It was kinda depressing.
But it was different this year, because I had someone to looove. Well, I've always had someone to love, but I never really thought about it this way. This year, I got a big huge hug from God, if you can picture that. I was thinking about it, and I've always wanted to sing in a small Christian band. After all that's happened and me wondering if I did the right thing by coming to USC, I finally got my wish. I'm getting all weepy just thinking about it; be glad you can't see me right now. After some begging, I got my sister to send me this song that I love and I sung it just for God, when it was just me and Him. I sung it with everything I had, even when I was crying too hard to sing anymore. It really doesn't matter how well you sing, as long as you give it your whole heart anyway. These are the lyrics:
My hands were made To worship you
My heart, my King It beats for you
Oh Lamb So true I surrender to you
My life My love My all
Your touch Your kiss Your grace To me
Is deeper Than my soul can see
My purpose it changed
When I called out your name
My life My love My all
My past has been erased
With just one touch from you
My clouds My rain My pain Has changed
Your blood has made me new
And When This world Has come to end
And paradise With you Begins
Well done you'll say When I see your face
My life My love My all
Jesus you are Jesus you are
So yeah, I had a very nice Valentine's.
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