After bringing up Rudy Mancke in the last post, I remembered that some of you were not forced to watch public television when you were children and may not know who the heck I'm talking about. Y'all don't understand. In the sad, old-peoplely world of SCETV, Rudy Mancke is the man. He's got his own show now (Makin' It Grow!, and yes, it really has an exclamation point) and he's all got all these old lady gardening groupies...I bet he can't even go to the State Fair without being swamped for autographs and fertilizer tips... However, his claim to fame was this little show called NatureScene.
Ah, NatureScene. That show is why I despise Rudy Mancke. It's not really Rudy's fault, though. See, back in the day, they used to show some kids' stuff on Sunday nights, but every once in a while, they would replace it with...you guessed it.
Perhaps I'm being a little harsh, but picture yourself as a little kid. (Harder for some of you than others...) You've been good, haven't stuck weird things in electrical sockets, so you're allowed to watch some TV. You gleefully hop on the couch and flip to ETV, cause it's Sunday night and nothing else is on. You're expecting to see some colorful but educational fluff...but you get...
You hear the dreaded music and you know. It's that same theme that hasn't changed since the 70's- that sleepy aucoustic guitar moseying along. Dum, dum dum dum, dum dum dum dum dum dum.... Your little heart sinks. Pictures of grass, rain falling off leaves, a happy little bird... Then comes the title art, in those fat little curvy 70's letters. NatureScene. The S and the C are linked together so you know this is a good ol' Carolina production. I'm sure they're quite proud of themselves for coming up with that. "Noooo..." you wail as you harmonize with the swelling violin that has come out of nowhere to further cheesify the sleepy guitar. The music fades, and the camera switches to this old guy in a forest or by a river. There are several old guys that do this show, but let's face it, nobody cares about them. It's all about Rudy.
Let's say Rudy's on tonight, with his buddy Moe. (Mercy, it's twice as bad when there's two of them.) Rudy smiles. "Today we're in the swamp next to the Congaree River. It's filled with fascinating wildlife..."
Moe jumps right in. "That's right, Rudy. I came here last month, and I was blown away." They begin walking through the swamp and caressing trees. "This one here is a Carolina pine. Aren't its needles beautiful?"
"They sure are, Moe. Carolina pines are a resilient kind, and this one looks particularly hardy. Look at the shine on those needles."
"Yes, that is some excellent shine. This really is a great specimen." (See why it's worse when there's two of them?)
You decide to add your two cents. You scream at the TV, "I want the Magic School Bus, dangit!!!" But Rudy and Moe are not listening to you. They're too busy staring with lustful eyes at a cardinal minding its own business in the Carolina pine and whispering about its shiny feathers.
NatureScene is evil. I don't care what anybody says. I'm scarred for life because of Rudy Mancke.
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