Lost two pounds this week... :) I'm right on schedule.

I was thinking about a short-lived cartoon that I adored when I was around 10. It was called Sam and Max: Freelance Police, and it was hilarious. I knew from the first episode (where Sam and Max's refrigerator appears to be possessed, but it was really just some salisbury steak that had been in there too long and had become a sentient being) that I was going to love it. In the end Sam felt sorry for the steak monster because all it wanted was to be eaten, and then he got a really bad stomachache...to make a long story short, the resulting...ahem, flatulence fixed the hole in the ozone layer.

I found some quotes from the show, and it was so funny because I actually remembered some of them:

Max: Why would anybody want to wear a suit?
Chimp (exposing his rear): Ever seen a chimp's rear end? It's not pretty.
Max: Enough. Please! No! Show me no more! I can't take it. I... I... I... Hey, I can see my face in it.

Max: (top of his head has just been twisted off) Amazing! I had no idea my skull was threaded for easy access!
Sam: Quick, press down on the medulla oblongata! Five bucks says he smells burnt toast!

Sam: Then one day, something happened. I ate a bad head-cheese sandwich and wandered off in an hallucinogenic daze. I came-to 15 years later in a remote Tibetan monastery. I had attained higher consciousness, but still, I always felt there was something missing... Besides shorts.

Sam: Maybe it's too hot.
(Sam pours a little of the drink onto Max's outstretched arm.)
Max: Hmm, there is a slight burning sensation.
Sam: That's just the venom.

Sam: What was once a cute cartoony-lizard-baby wriggling around on the rug, was now a full grown, ten foot, foul-tempered, primeval killing machine.
Max: And we loved him so.

Gary: You've made me very angry. This is what I think you are! [I wish you guys could hear how he said "This is what I think you are!" That made it hilarious.]
(Turns Sam into a stuffed cow.)
Max: Ah! How could you! I asked if I could be a painted turtle and I was completely ignored!!
(Gary turns Max into a painted turtle)
Max: (in a high voice) Thank you!!

Max: The simulated 3D carnage makes me tingle like a prom queen.

Sam: I just hope the kids at home weren't emotionally scarred from witnessing what appeared to be our horrifyingly graphic demise.
Max: Me too. We'll need their keisters parked at the tube in time for our next episode.
Sam: Aww, you old softy.