Piñatas promote violence against flamboyant animals.

Demetri Martin special coming on tomorrow night. I feel my brain exploding every time I watch this guy, but that's why it's so genius. It's so funny because it's so random...

Garrett's message tonight really got me thinking. I think I've said this before, either out loud on here in Velveteen, but I'm nowhere near where I thought I would be around this time three years ago. Now I don't think that's a bad thing at all, but USC was my fall-back school. I was really disillusioned when I got here, and my relationship with God was in shambles at best. I was basically throwing a several-month-long temper tantrum. I was scared. I didn't know what I was going to do with myself. Nothing made sense, there didn't seem to be a point on giving anything my best. I was just...there, making good grades so I could keep my scholarships and keep my parents off my back. I'm not proud of the way I acted. I thought my faith was so strong, but the minute something went really wrong...I was the thing I hated so much, a hypocrite.

Okay, coming to the end of my third year here...I still get hives when I think about the future. Some people really like the business world and what not...to be frank, I'm in it for the money. I am not personally invested in this at all. I don't find finance the slightest bit interesting. There's just not another career path that I'm interested in, so I just picked something I'm slightly good at with stable job opportunites. It's starting to reflect on how I look at my classes and life after college. But I've seen so many things that have really convinced me that I ended up at USC because I was supposed to. I would've never met all my buddies at the Shack, I probably wouldn't have gone to Japan, and I don't have that papier-mache faith that I used to have anymore. I have to believe that wherever I end up- whether it's somewhere I didn't expect at all, or exactly how I see it, chained to a cubicle until I'm 65 (in the good scenario, where I at least have a steady job)- it's where God meant for me to be, and if I do my best and give it everything I've got, I can do good there.

I'm afraid, but I'm not giving up. I'm just going to move forward.