Dear Father,

Yesterday was the first day I'd been really happy since my anxiety attack last month. It was awesome, mostly cause I could feel You really close to me. I was so giddy, I felt like I wanted to tell the world. Do You remember? I was determined to not worry about things so much and just hand things over to you. So, I was in a good mood, even as I stayed up to finish that paper. I pumped myself full of caffeine and resolved to stay happy, even as I had to finally skip class to finish everything. But by the time test time rolled around today, I have to admit I was a little irritable. And then it was like I had studied all the wrong things, so all that studying was ultimately little help. I tried not to cry, but there was no one to talk to and the person who served me my food was rude to me and I just couldn't deal with it all at once. So that was how I ended up trudging up the stairs to my room, chanting, "I'm not going to cry. It's just a test," even as I'm blubbering and snotting everywhere. And then I felt worse cause I had just finished telling you I wasn't going to worry. It wasn't really the test...I just hate that feeling when I know I've done my best and...it just wasn't good enough. But You know that. I felt like my happiness had been snatched away from me just when I'd gotten it back, and that just discouraged me more.

But you work in mysterious ways, God. I could've just gone home and caught up on sleep, but I went to house church and laughed and had cake and interesting discussion, then I had pizza with friends. But the best part of the night was what I thought would be the hardest. Thank you for pushing all that other stuff out of the way long enough to allow me to help some of my sisters intercede for my brothers tonight. 15 minutes became an hour, and I didn't even notice. You were definitely there with us, and may it always be so. Thank you, dear Father. You brought my happiness back with the joy that comes from working for you. You are good. And now I'm gonna sleep real good. May the fervent prayers that were sent up tonight be heard and answered. In your name. Love you a whole lot.

Amen.