Baby Steps

This week has been probably the most insane one of my life. It started out like any other: ridiculous amounts of homework and various extracurricular activites, all meticulously scheduled so I'd have plenty of free time in between. Packed to the brim, but somewhat structured. That's how I like it.

Then, on Tuesday, I got sick. Sick as a dog. So sick, yesterday was the first day I felt completely better. Thus, this has been a week of missed classes, missed deadlines, trying to pull all-nighters but having my pitiful body collapse in narcoleptic fits until I finally cave and go to bed, and basically bewailing my horrible fate. So far, I've turned in three huge homework assignments late, am only half-prepared for my group project presentation tomorrow, and somehow managed to miss my business advisement for next semester. Not to mention I haven't even signed up for honors advisement yet. But it's all right. Even though I've been pulling my hair out, my professors have been pretty understanding about me turning things in late. And I'm almost done with everything. One more logic problem, emailing my group leader my information, and I'll finally be done. I'm so happy.

Then all I'll have to worry about are my two big tests this week. Both of which are in classes in which I didn't do so hot the last time we had tests.

Waaaah...

But it hasn't been all bad. Tuesday I ended up going with Jones to Marble Slab Creamery. If you've never been to Marble Slab with Jones, you should go right now. I'm serious. He'll go, too. You won't even have to beg. The people who work there know him, he and Lou go there so much. He knows his stuff, though. He suggested I get sweet cream and rum with oreos, and it was so good. If I hadn't gotten so sick, I would've eaten the whole thing. Unfortunately, I had to pour about half of it down the sink. And then it got clogged. I wanted to bawl my eyes out, but I was too tired. And in pain. My roommate must've thought I was insane, watching the ice cream juice slurp molasses-slowly down the sink with an expression of pure, unadulterated sorrow.

My sister came on Friday to stay with me, and we had fun. Hey, not killing each other is an accomplishment in itself. (Wuv you, Jenny-poo!!) Something weird happened too. Some of you may not realize this, but I have a really thick country accent. It's just natural to switch to my "proper talk" here in Columbia, so don't ask me to do it because I can't switch on command. But when Jennifer came, my accent just came out of nowhere. I was listening to myself talking, and I was horrified. Amused, but horrified. We went to St. Pat's in Five Points on Saturday, which was fun. It reminded me of those festivals I used to go to as a kid. Every town had their own sidewalk festival with this different theme with food and sidewalk vendors . Bishopville has the Cotton Festival. Which has nothing to do with cotton except that you might see some that has fallen out of a farmer's truck on the side of the road. There's a Chicken Strut, Magnolia Festival, Iris Festival, Peach Festival, Watermelon Festival, and even a Chitlin Festival. And if you don't know what chitlins are, be thankful. Oh, and Jennifer and I got matching tees in Five Points. Pink, of course. Tee hee.

And then tonight was fun. Reunion is always nice, even though I was a little bummed tonight thinking about everything that's still unfinished. I really liked the songs we did tonight, and Garrett's message got me to thinking. It was so weird, because I've been doing some of the things he talked about without really thinking about it. I've been wondering if the way my relationship with God has developed is too unorthodox or even sacrilegious. I've been asking myself if I need to be more reverent. My prayers are almost never structured unless I'm at church. I don't have a set time for prayer because I'm praying all the time. I literally talk to God about everything because when I finally think of something to say, it's usually when no one else is around, and I always get some sort of answer, even if it isn't exactly in words. The prayers I like the best are when I'm on the Horseshoe walking to somewhere, since I have to pass through it no matter where my final destination is. When I have lunch alone, I like to think God's there with me, and it's like having lunch with a friend. My problem is I don't read my Bible as much as I should. To be honest, sometimes I go days without even picking up my Bible. I had to blow dust off it this morning, and I felt like poo. It did fall in a particularly dusty place and hadn't been there long, but it's the principle. It's not that I don't like reading it, I do. I think I'm one of those people who need one of those plan thingies, or it's not going to happen. Another thing is making myself shut up and listen sometimes. I know I blow stuff out of proportion all the time, so often when I'm going on and on about something, I have to stop myself so God can get a word in. But the point of all this rambling is that doing this has made God real to me. My faith is mine because I learn to love Him a little more every day.

Too much work, though...it's definitely stressing me out. When I've resolved everything, I'll feel a lot better. Right now, in an effort to unwind, I am listening to European trance music, which is really just a genre of techno. Yes, there are genres of techno, or electronica, as the true experts would call it. House, trance, and dance are three very different things. And then you can divide it even further into deep house or progressive dance or hard trance and so on...I don't even know what they're talking about sometimes. But yes, trance is one of my perennial loves when it comes to music. The three genres I cannot live without are trance, Japanese music, and rock. I could stop listening to R&B or pop tomorrow, but I can't imagine not coming back to these three. I think trance is a healthier alternative to Linkin Park when I'm depressed, anyway.

I finished my group work, so I can go to bed now without feeling guilty. It's a start. Baby steps. I'm happy for baby steps.