Comfort is never absent from the need...
-"Forever," Edison Glass
Man, I love this CD. This CD being A Burn or a Shiver by Edison Glass. Edison Glass is a breath of fresh air. Honest lyrics, great sound, and it points me to Christ without bludgeoning me over the head with too many "churchisms"...I really needed this right now. There's not a song on the CD that I don't like at least a little bit. My three favorite songs ( can't decide which one I like the best) are "Forever", "In Such a State", and "When All We Have is Taken/Comfort" (which, coincidentally are all on their Myspace page, and their purevolume page has all of them and more from A Burn or A Shiver and their indie EP). The songs don't have that many lyrics to them, but they have a way of sneaking up on you with a suddenly poetic line, like above and in the title of this entry, which is from "In Such a State." So in short, I like it. :D
Anyway, about me...I didn't get either of the study abroad scholarships I applied for (although, ironically, I'm a finalist for one and an alternate for the other), and I'm now looking at loans. But don't worry, I plan to get on that plane August 31 no matter what. :D I got really upset though...I guess cause I got the news for both scholarships within days of my computer officially kicking the bucket (yup, everything's gone, computer won't make it to the end of the summer, have to buy a new one...like I have the money, especially now :P) I was literally in mourning till like yesterday...moping around the house, crestfallen at losing all that music and all my artwork, never mind maybe having to go back to school, which entailed finding somewhere to stay and quitting international business, since I couldn't do the SA requirement... And then my dad was a total butthole to me during that period (he was in one of his moods again), so I was pissed off at him the whole time...and I mean pissed. Murderous thoughts pissed. And he couldn't figure out why I was mad at him for the life of him, so he smeared that olive oil of his on my forehead and said in that maddeningly pious tone he gets, "God, please talk to her." Talk to me?! He needs to talk to you, so you can figure out that it's not demon possession that's my problem and maybe it was because you treated my feelings like they were nothing again...he seemed like such a hypocrite to me in that moment. I guess it made me so mad because he didn't even apologize... But I'm okay now. No more moping or murderous thoughts. I sorted it out, and I'm not angry anymore. I forgave my dad, realized I was acting stupid, and finally got my head out of my ass. I was really being a prima donna, and being mad was just exhausting me by a certain point. I was the one being a hypocrite, acting like God had forsaken me just because things have gone wrong and everything hasn't fallen perfectly into place. I guess cause it all happened at once, I got a little crazy. I'm ashamed, really...it made me realize I still have a lot of growing up to do, especially if I call myself about to go to a foreign country alone. And I need to trust God more too...anybody could trust him if everything went well all the time, but to trust him when things mess up...that's the place I want to be in. And I'm not quite there yet.
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